Total Disgrace
by Phonos
Summary: Bella's mother abuses her, and she cuts herself. She just has to get away, but where to? What wonderful surprise could await her there?
1. Decision

**My second story!! Read and Review!!  
K, it's short, but it seemed really long when I wrote it in my notebook...**

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There's no physical or emotional pain a sane person wants to go through in life. Let's just say, I'm anything but sane. I used to be, before my mom, an aspiring musician, became a failed musician, this, plus my father trying to claim custody over me, plus having to travel with her new husband Phil, pushed her over the edge, making her blame me for everything. I became her punching bag.

Not only did my mom abuse me, she made me tell my father that I hated him, that I never in my life wanted to live with him. Despite this, he still came down for one week every summer and every winter to see me, for which I was grateful. Renee never hit me when he was here. Not that I told him that. The emotions that would take place in such a conversation would be to much for me to bear alone.

I often had such great emotions, well breakdowns, after I cut myself, curling up into a ball, shaking violently and sobbing.

For about a year between when Renee abusing me, when I was 13, and now, at 17, everything was better emotionally, thanks to Emmett, aka Emmybear, whom was my best friend, even though it was over IM.

I never knew where he lived, or about his life growing up, but he never knew this about me either. The only reason I got to know him was through a friend, who got his email from a friend and so on. Normally I wouldn't have done this kind of thing, but I was emotional that day, only partially from PMS.

That was when I was fourteen and a quarter year old, going to fifteen and a quarter year old, when my mother shut my computer off on me, not even letting me say goodbye, and by then the friends who gave his email to me weren't my friends anymore, and wouldn't say goodbye for me if I begged. I started to cut myself again.

"Get the hell down here, Bella!" My mother screeched from the kitchen, breaking me from my thoughts. What did she want with her punching bag this time?

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I quickly made my way down the stairs, my mother was more violent when I was slow.

I internally cursed myself when I realized why she was mad, I forgot to do her dishes. It seemed harmless, but if Renee had a chance to hit me, she took it.

"What is this, Bella?" She was taunting me. "What the hell is this?" Her voice reached it's highest, "I give you the gift of life, and what do you give me in return?" I knew it was a rhetorical question, in truth, I did alot. "Crap! You do absolutely nothing with your worthless life! Your a disgrace! Am I right!?"

She was right, I did know it, "Yes, Ma'am, you're right," I managed to choke out.

Instead of leaving, she slapped me real hard across the face, the impact of the rings made my face bleed. The rest would bruise. "What was that again?"

"I'm a total disgrace!" It was meant to come out loud, but it sounded squeaky.

She pushed me back so hard that the wooden railing broke at impact. I landed on some large splinters that speared through my arm. "You better clean this up, along with those dishes, I guess you have 'til Sunday night." She almost spat at me while she spoke. I felt a little woozy, but jumped when the door slam.

Renee and Phil were going out of Arazona for the weekend, this I knew. I then decided that I was going somewhere this weekend too. I had more than enough money in my bank account to purchase a plane ticket, and I always had my cell.

I rushed upstairs to dress my wounds, take a shower, apply my make-up and pack for my 'trip'.

I had to admit, through the pain and almost-reluctance, I was excited.

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	2. Plane Ride

OK, super sorry, it's been FOREVER! :(

this'll be a different way of writing and I semi-forgot what the point of this story was supposed to be, but here we go, again, very, very sorry!

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I quickly rushed up the stairs, slipping into a shower that was so hot it turned my skin partially red. I used my favorite strawberry shampoo and conditioner, leaving it in extra long to make and hair even more smooth. My vanilla body wash put me in a better mood, but i started feeling queasy when my poofy-wash-thing broke some scabs on my wrist and blood slowly trickled down my hand. Thats when i heard the crying, and rushed out of the shower into the room next to me.

Marley was grippping the sides of her crib so that her fingers were red and the tips were white. her eyes were red and kind of puffy, but they lit up when they saw me, but her mouth formed a pout like it always does when she sees the slits on my wrist, as if she knows what I do to myself everynight before bed. I lifted her out of her crib onto my hip and told her my plans as I went down to get her some baby food.

My voice was quiet and sad as I tip-toed over the broken glass at the bottom step. "Marley, honey, we leaving this place, OK?"

I knew she couldnt fully comprehend what I was saying, but the look on her face made it seem like she did. I kissed her forhead and continued. "We're going to pack are bags right now, and phone your grandfather, saying we're going there to stay awhile, OK? And you won't have to grow up with Renee's critism like I did."

After I fed her we went upstairs to pack. I managed to put everything we needed in only three suitcases and a carry-on, finishing it off with Marley's purple stuffed elephant and deciding not to take a razor. I was switching to wax.

I piled our luggage into my old rusty red waggon from the garage that I had had as a kid, Marley was still placed on my hip. We went two blocks over, to my aunt's house on my father's side, I knew that she would help, she's always supported me with my problems, especially with my mother and taking care of Marley.

As soon as I got to her house her car pulled into the driveway. She got out of the car with a skeptical expression but motioned me into the house, getting us drinks -coffee for me and apple juice for Marley- and seating us at the table. She made a last second decision to grab a box of Kleenex. Then demanded to know what we were up to, and I told her, and she started crying. She hated me not being happy and Marley being in danger. I could tell she was going to miss us, but knew it was for the best.

After she used up half the box of Kleenex, she agreed to help. she was going to take us to the airport and pay for our flight, even though I argued that it wasn't something I wanted her to do, and that I should pay. Sniffling, she said, "I'm so worried for you. If only I could assure you'd be safe." She touched my arm, then cupped my daughter's face. "Ever since that night... I'm afraid for your safety."

"It'll be fine, don't worry."

Her eyes were serious when she responded. "Everyone needs somebody to worry for them. God knows your mother doesn't" She looked at the fresh cuts on my hands from me and my mother's arguement. I looked down, almost ashamed.

"I'm coming with you, just for awhile." She decided, "It's about time I saw Charlie again anyway"

"But Aunty-"

"No. Don't argue. I understand how you feel, but people NEED to be cared for sometimes, especially when they care for others so well." She looked lovingly at Marley, who was attempting to get more juice from her sippy cup by hitting it on the high chair that my aunt bought for when she watched Marley."

"I'll just stay there with you for awhile, to watch Marley while you get used to your surroundings." She smiled. "You still have school to worry about, your in trouble as it is. Now, lets go, we have to catch a flight." I played a little game with Marley, then loaded everything into my Aunt's car while she packed her bags.

She seemed almost tense as she got into the car and muttered to herself, "I'll call work at the airport."

Marley made and excited high-pitched noise. She loved car rides. I just hoped she loved airplane rides too.

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At the aiport my aunt delt with the person that sold the tickets and Marley pointed at the strange people and just gawked when I scolded her.

My aunt walked back with tickets in hand and huffed. "People."

We pushed through the crowd to security hurredly, we didn't exactly have much time. Marley cried and shoved her face into my shirt when we went through security, making scared noises when she saw the large men standing at the side, but settled when we were boarding the plane, amazingly enough, we didnt get as much of a hassle as I expected.

I suddenly realized Charlie didn't know we were coming and grabbed my aunt's cell. He picked up after two rings.

"Hello?"

"Hi, ugh, Dad."

"Bella? What are you doing calling from your aunt's phone? You sound almost worried, what's wrong?" He stumbled through the questions, but I could here the sencerity in his voice.

"Is it at all possible that you could be at the Port Angeles Airport at eight?"

"Yes. But why?"

"Sorry, Dad, but I don't have time to explain. It's me, Marley and aunty coming, OK? There's a stewardess telling me to put the phone away. Bye, see you soon." I knew it was blunt and I'd have to explain alot when I saw Charlie, but I snapped the phone shut and returned it to my aunt's carry-on.

Marley fell asleep almost immediately, she had tuckered herself out from the exciting car ride. My aunt became engrosed in the movie playing, and I became very amused by a thread sticking off my jeans.

The time past very slowly so I went through every motion I did very slowly trying to fill every second, and, eventually I called for a pillow from a stewardess and fell asleep quickly, when I awoke, we were landing.

Marley was sitting beside my happily, playing with her feet. I looked curiosly at my aunt. "You were in such a deep sleep, you didn't even wake when she started crying, I didn't want to wake you so I took care of her."

"Oh, you didn't have to-"

"Stop that."

"Fine."

The pilot's voice came echoing throughout the plane. "Please remain seated, we are about to land."

I hugged myself around the waist and mentally prepared myself to see my father again after such a long time.

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I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!!

REVIEW!!

I'll probably put on another chapter later or tommorow!


	3. Arrival

OK, next chapter! :D hope u like it!

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As I rocked Marley to sleep, I recalled what had happened in the last four hours.

When we had gotten off the plane I had major butterflies in my stomach. After getting our luggage I bought a gigantic Cinnabon and a large piping-hot coffee while my aunt held Marley and figured out the directions to find Charlie's car in the large parking lot outside. How hard could it be to find a police cruiser in a crowd? I walked off to them and Marley made a grab for my shirt.

"Sorry, honey, but if I spilled coffee on you, I'd never forgive myself." I smiled sadly, and so did she.

My aunt abruptly stood up, snapping her phone shut and swinging her bag onto her arm with her free hand, grabbed her luggage and marched out of the airport, beckoning me to follow. I grabbed my stuff, feeling a little overwhelmed by having to manage it all, and followed her out. I almost tripped on the step upwards by the door and spilled a little coffee on my luggage. "Damn. What a waste of coffee." I shook my head, I was such a coffee addict.

"Your father said he'd wait at the end of the row of cars for us." I looked at her questioningly. Why did she have to argue about directions on the phone if he was waiting in clear sight for us?

As if she knew what I was thinking she said, we figured it would be easier than walking around confused, or putting on police sirens."

"Oh."

I saw him standing there awkwardly and I felt like I was going to puke, remembering him begging me to stay with him in Forks, away from my mother. I was semi-afraid of an I- told-you-so type of moment.

As we approached him, he looked up and smiled. "Hello, ugh, Sarah." (My aunt)

Marley made a high-pitched-happy noise and tried to get out of Sarah's grip, but Charlie grabbed her before she struggled too hard. He kissed her forehead and placed her on a broad shoulder. Her smile was huge, but she gripped his hair.

He smiled warmly, although he flinched when Marley tugged hard on his hair. "Bella," he said and came to give me a one-armed hug. "Let me help you with that luggage," he grabbed two suitcases and ushered us towards the cruiser.

We stacked everything nicely in the spacey trunk and my dad and aunt got into the front, while Marley and I got the back seat. Great, now we were criminals.

My aunt told my father what happened, and what we had decided on doing the entire way to Forks while Marley played with a lock of my hair and I brushed her rusty-blond hair with my fingers. Charlie threw me a few sympathy glances on the way. I sighed, slumping against the seat. It was a very long ride, and rain started to pelt the car about halfway through.

Finally, we arrived in Forks. It was kind of a depressing place, dark clouds almost always gathered in the sky, making the whole place has eerie gloom, but almost didn't even matter, I was so tired, despite my nap on the plane, that I was happy to be here.

My father had to let me and Marley out of the car, for there were no handles in the back seat. Me and my dad hulled my stuff up to the extra bedroom at the top of the stairs that had always been mine when I came as soon as I set my stuff down on the bed I knew I would end up re-painting and re-arranging as soon as possible. Maybe on the weekend. The first thing I did was organized Marley's crib in the corner by the rocking chair, and so, now I was just sitting in the corner singing her a lullaby and putting her to sleep, I was incredibly jealous.

I still had to get all of my stuff ready, but instead I went downstairs into the living room and helped my aunt make the couch a comfortable temporary bed and make some toast for a quick bite to eat.

Charlie came down the stairs and looked at me, smiling, "I certainly have a beautiful granddaughter, from a beautiful daughter." He almost looked like he had a tear in his eye and quickly turned away, trying to find something in his nearly-empty fridge. "Anything you need Bella, just tell me, OK?"

"OK, dad, I will."

I wobbled slightly in place from exhaustion.

"Go to sleep, Bells, we'll talk in the morning."

"Love you dad, thanks."

He grunted, seeming embarrassed and I spun swiftly, taking the stairs two at a time and grabbing my toiletries, claiming certain shelved in the bathroom for my own. I washed up and changed in there and slid under the thick covers, snuggling into my flannel Pajamas.

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The next morning I woke up well slept. Marley was still sleeping, and I figured I'd have enough time to have a quick shower and get ready for the following day before she awoke.

I realized that I had nothing to remove hair with and decided to go shopping later on today with Marley, I had left a few minor necessities in Arizona anyway, like baby food and my stash of Areo bars, which needed to be replenished immediately. I jumped out of the shower and quickly got dressed.

My wardrobe was now quite small, and most of it was something that preppy people would call gothic, although, it wasn't really, just because most of it was either black, red, or darker shades. I didn't view it that way, mostly because I thought that a mother should not dress like that. What I put on was a red button-up top and black jeans with flame-colored shoes, and a lot of eye liner. Marley's outfit was mostly grey and dark green.

I walked down the stairs with Marley on my hip, setting her on the chair that was closest to the ground, just in case. Nobody else was up, so I made coffee and french toast. Charlie was probably roused by the smell, because he lumbered down the stairs not that long after I was done the second piece.

"Hmm. Food." He sat down and took a plate, eating the crust first.

My aunt followed not that long after, picking up Marley and sitting down with her on her lap. We all sat around the table, eating in comfortable silence. Charlie eyed me strangely after I had to make a second pot of coffee because I drank all the first one aside from what my aunt and dad had. "You're not gonna grow any more if you drink coffee like that."

"Dad, I'm short as it is, and I don't think I would grow anymore if I did stop." The rich aroma of coffee filled the air and I breathed it in happily.

"Then one thing you CAN do is stop putting so much black around your eyes, you look like somebody's been beating on you."

I glanced at my hands, "Someone has been." Then I sat back down at the table and waited for my coffee.

"I think I'm going to go shopping, OK? I need a few things that I left in Arizona and we need some food around here." I giggled a little bit, "What DO you eat, Dad? All I see is eggs and bread."

"Coffee shop has good food. Good service."

"Good coffee?"

"Nope." He sounded very sarcastic, I was probably going to get hassled about my coffee-drinking habits. "But, if your going shopping for food, I'd prefer you use my money. There's a 'Food Cash' jar up in the cupboard, alright?"

I cleared the table as Charlie got ready for work and Sarah got the dish water ready. "Do you want some help with the shopping? I could come along if you'd like. Although me and Charlie have some catching up to do."

"Nah. That's OK, I'm used to it just being me and Marley shopping, it's almost calming now. She likes sitting in the front of the cart." I smiled.

"Well, you go ahead, then, I'll do the dishes myself."

I dried my hands, picked up Marley and went to start up my dads non-police truck, with only two seats and an awesome radio. Charlie preferred the cop car because it ran smoother, but I didn't see what was wrong with the truck, in fact, I loved the old, rusty thing.

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OK, obviously it's the red truck, but everyone already knows the description, so I'm not bothering with it :D

Hope you liked the chapter, please review!


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